Making a good choice in relationships is so difficult for many of us. I have friends that vacillate from one person to another and back again with regularity, and the subsequent pain and confusion are terrible.

I dont care what age you are past high school, if you haven't found a committed relationship, you are searching for the one. At times, we all wonder if that person exists; if we are ever going to find someone compatible with our lifestyle, philosophy, ethics, spirituality, politics, food preferences, sports, etc. The list goes on and on.

But one thing is for certain, finding that person rather than settling for someone less than what we are wanting is never good. Okay, that is my opinion, but think about it for a minute. If we have high standards and certain specifications to meet our needs, in the long run arent we robbing ourselves of happiness if we choose badly or settle for less than what we want?

Women are often accused of going after the bad boy image so they can help him correct his ways or maybe give the woman some much needed excitementrelationships built on either of those issues will have the foundation of warm oatmeal and the life expectancy of a worm crawling across a highway.

Men are often accused of only looking for sex and never committing. It's in our basic nature to be with many women, not commit easily and have roving eyes. We too have to realize this characteristic is inherent and work to find a woman who we can love for the long term, and forget the one-night stands which rarely provide a compatible partner and only short-term satisfaction.

We all have the failing of being attracted physically first, its not our fault, it initiates interest, romance and stirs up the hormones, thats the way we are built. But, you cant base a relationship on looks alone either.

Since everything has to start somewhere, physical appearance will have to do. But, from that point on we all have choices. Men and women exhibit tendencies which are clues to the inner person, and if you spend your time educating yourself in good and bad tendencies, you will avoid the pitfalls of a relationship you really dont want.

If you meet someone attractive and they have some good qualities, but as you get to know them better, the more negative qualities begin to surface, dont get sucked into believing you can overlook them or change them. If there is an ethics issue or your politics are opposite, they too are large red flags indicating problems down the road somewhere; you will have wasted a lot of time and energy on the wrong person.

Take your time getting to know someone, look closely at them, without coming across like an FBI interrogator, and decide if this relationship has legs or is glowing in the dark with flashing caution signs.

When you think about it, you really not in any hurry. The best relationship is the one that starts out slowly, allows you each to get to know each other and progresses at a pace your both comfortable with. If you laugh a lot together, have similar goals, each have many friends, a positive outlook on life and the energy and desire to build a relationship together, go for it. If not, keep lookingthe right person will show up.

In the end, its just one mans opinionmine.