She was haunted by a man whom she had never met. He came to her in her dreams. It was not just a reoccurring dream about some random Prince Charming archetype. This guy had flaws, he was just as mixed up and lost as she was. She would wake up from a dead sleep to the sound of his voice whispering in her ear, "Look out the window." She would argue in her half asleep stupor, "Be quiet! I'm sleeping!" Again, he would whisper, "Look out the window." She would eventually drag herself up from the cozy comfort of her bed to gaze out the window. There was the full moon big and beautiful. It magically called to her from somewhere in the back of her soul's oldest memories.

She could feel him there, her ghostly suitor. She knew that if she spun around quickly, he would be standing there behind her, but every time she turned, there was nothing there but silence and darkness. Somewhere in the recesses of her mind, she could hear him silently promising, "Wait for me... I'll find you if it's the last thing I do." She would toss and turn for the rest of the night feeling his intense presence and wrestling with the fact that he wasn't 'real'.

As the years went on, she would learn that he did not know her name and that he called her Destiny. She began to call him Passion. She was not allowed to search for him. She was to sit still and wait. It was part of the game, part of the agreement. His challenge for this lifetime was to search for his Destiny. After all, what is Passion without Destiny? He had to learn how to recognize her. She had to learn how to wait in blind faith that he would find her. Both had to live real lives with real mates. Neither could shake the very real belief that the other one existed somewhere out there.

How many times would she convince herself that the man standing in front of her was her Passion? How many times would it not be true? How would she know when it was finally him? How many women would he mistake for her? Would Passion and Destiny burn out and give up, writing it all off as just some figment of their imaginations? Do soulmates really exist? Or are we looking for an impossible ideal?

A soulmate is not just someone that you love from the depth of your soul. They are not just someone that you have a karmic connection with. They are not just someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with. They are someone you miss hanging out with before you have even met. They are the one that upon first meeting you simply sigh in relief and say, "Ah there you are, I've been waiting for you." There is no questioning, no 'getting to know you' stage. You have known them for all of eternity. You may want to share stories of your journeys and how you came to find each other, but you already 'know' them as well as you know yourself. You see yourself in their eyes. You understand them on a soul level because you share the same source.

Unfortunately, it is not always a blissful experience. Most of us are not ready to meet our other halves because we are not even ready to look ourselves in the mirror. Until you can truly love and accept yourself, then you will not be able to love and accept your soulmate. They are not some fantasy person sent to save you from the ups and downs of real life. They will not make your life a magic perfect delight. They will simply love you on a level that is unlike any other.

If you do not hear the call of a long lost soulmate, count yourself as blessed. You have the freedom to love anyone you choose. You get to make any kind of match that pleases you. Do not try to force a soulmate relationship. Be content in knowing that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, doing exactly what you are meant to do.

If on the other hand, you do hear your Passion calling, or you see Destiny in your dreams, then my prayers go out to you my dear. For yours is that path of finding the proverbial needle in a haystack. Don't ask me to tell you if they're worth the hunt. Can you bring yourself to give up the hunt even if you tried? Only you can gauge your ability to silence that cosmic voice calling you to hold out for that certain person that only you will recognize. Only you know what it's going to take to find them. Perhaps the angels will smile upon the two of you and help with some old fashioned happenstance. Perhaps you will telepathically connect and find your way to each others' arms. Perhaps you were just meant to experience the longing. Perhaps you will go through some bad relationships first so that when you find your Destiny, she'll be that much sweeter and more appreciated. Nobody knows for sure how it will play out. But I believe that on some level, deep down, you know.

Did you already meet your soulmate and choose to walk away from each other? Was the intensity too much? Did it scare you? Was it overwhelming? Was it too hard? Will you have a second chance with them later down the road? Will you miss them forever? Yeah, probably. Will you learn something about unconditional love from them? Yeah, probably.

Did you find each other and recognize they shared the same soul as you? Did you hold on tight? Count yourselves as the very rare and incredibly blessed. Cherish the gift of finding yourself in another's eyes and seeing just how beautiful you are.

Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge