Cheating...A topic that never gets old. From David and Bathsheba to our former President Bill Clinton's infamous indescretion with white house intern, Monica Lewinsky. It's seems a constant, especially in today's society. People seem to be less concerned about honoring their vows to each other, and more concerned about satisfying their desires. With an emphasis on the simplicity of divorce(irreconciable differences), and a breaking away from the established moral codes, it seems cheating has become a free for all. With this in place you need just add the overwhelming amount of access we have to making such "connections". The internet alone provides a host of opportunities for the cheater. Chat rooms, on-line dating services, and of course the ever present, vast amount of pornograhpic websites.

There are many different reasons why people choose to cheat. Society generates a variety of explanations. It sites men as inherently incapable of maintaining themselves with a single partner. A genetic aberration of sorts. I believe that was a deliberate rumor started by the first man caught cheating.(lol) If you repeat something often enough in any culture, or society, it can eventually take hold. What once was just a placating lie by the first cheating guy is now logged in the history books as a fact of life. On the other hand, women are billed as more likely to cheat out of a feeling of being neglected, or mistreated in some fashion. However, that is also not written in stone. There are tons of reasons why people cheat instead of leaving their marriages/partnerships. Ex:Financial reasons; they have kids together; don't believe in divorce; covering up their true sexuality; feel they love their partners, but still need someone else to meet some need they think can't be met at home.(ex:sex) Others are cheating because they're bored, or have lost their attraction to their mate, and there are even cases where there's a partner who has been ill for an extended period of time.

The other evening my girlfriends and I were at my home having a girls night. The discussion of cheating arose. My friends seemed very much in agreement that men did far more cheating than women. I listened as they went back and forth about their own experiences, as well as things theyd heard. I was trying to sort out my current feelings on the matter.

I had also had several discussions on the topic with some male friends too. One male friend in particular was convinced it was women who were doing more cheating. He simply suggested that since there were more woman in the world it stood to reason that they had to be more cheating amongst females. He further argued that if women claimed men were sleeping around with alot of females, then who were these ladies in question? It couldn't just be a "select" group of females. He gave an example: He suggested each "supposed male cheater" in his lifetime was sleeping with anywhere from 5 to 15 different females. If that were true than by mere math alone woman were the bigger cheaters. There was of course a non-scientific elimination of all uneligible woman, before coming to this conclusion.

I would argue, that although more women might exist, in certain parts of the world infidelity by a woman was more than frowned upon. In some places a female caught cheating was met with very harsh consequences...Such was the case several years ago in Nigeria of Safiya Hussaini, who was accused of adultery, and sentenced to death by stoning. In March 2002, her sentence was overturned on a technicality. Still, there are other stories similar to that of the young woman from Nigeria. I surely felt it must hamper the desire in woman quite a bit in certain parts of the world faced with that kind of consequence...

In the end I realized I could argue points for either side, but was that the only issue I should be concerned with? Or is it that suddenly more than ever before we as a society seem to be willing to risk our marriages, our children's stability, and the feelings of so many,(it's never only about the two involved in the infidelity) for what appears to be a desire to have our cake and eat it too. If we are truly unhappy in a partnership, why aren't we making more of an effort to resolve "our issues" with each other, rather than creating new ones with infidelity. And finally, if we aren't able (after giving our best effort) to reconcile our relationship, then why don't we with the honor that we spoke our vows in the beginning, end our partnerships in a manner that allows both parties(and all involved)to move forward with their lives in the most positive way possible.

So, let's start thinking about all that we have to lose, before we act on something that provides only a momentary "preceived gain", and in the end causes so much heartache for everyone...