Listening is one of the most important skills of effective communication yet it is often the skill least focused on. This applies equally to the work place as it does to personal relationships.

Do any of the following statements apply to you? When someone is talking I ...

a) often interrupt before they finish

b) am often thinking about an unrelated topic (such as what to cook for dinner)

c) am thinking about what I want to say next

d) wish they would hurry up

If you can answer "yes" to any of these your listening skills need some work.

Listening well involves giving someone 100% of your focus and attention at the moment they are speaking. Have you ever been talking to someone who seems distracted? You know they are not really listening 100% to you when their mind is elsewhere. How does it make you feel?

Hearing the words is not the same as listening. It is easy to hear the words (and repeat them if asked) whilst having part of your mind elsewhere.

Listening is a sign of respect. Giving someone 100% of your attention shows them you care about what they have to say. Listening well encourages people to share more honestly with you. Listening creates trust. Listen to others in the way you would like others to listen to you.

So what do you need to do to start really listening?

a) be mindful of not interrupting people - let them finish their thoughts. Whatever it is you want to share can wait an extra 10 seconds!

b) make eye contact - it helps you stay connected

c) take a full breath (in and out) when you think someone has finished speaking. This ensures they really have finished before you jump in.

d) ask questions - it shows you are interested

e) Practice!

Pick someone to practice your listening skills with this week - partner, children, colleague. For the next 7 days focus on listening to them ... not just hearing them.

You will be amazed at the difference it makes!