Those of us who have lost ourselves along the way due to childhood or adult trauma, addictions, or other misfortunes are profoundly aware of the role serenity can play in re-creating and maintaining a self, a life, and a future.

Many of us have at some point misplaced our self-esteem, self-respect, and self-worth. We have separated ourselves from others and lost family members and friends we love because of our own self-absorbed, self-righteous, or self-deprecating thoughts. Shame abolishes serenity.

Lifes not worth a damn till you can shout out I Am what I Am. ­ La Cage Aux Folles

When we lose our sense of authentic self, we define ourselves through what others think of us. This can be devastating for those who do not fit the status quo. And sometimes we lose ourselves entirely and find solace in negative, harmful waysways that momentarily quell the pain.

I did not come here to be you. I came here to be me.

We have tried in the past to live up to the expectations of others in order to feel accepted. Our progress was unrewarded because we were obsessed with perfection. Perfection is final. There is no room for growth.

Regaining our sense of self requires change. To do so, it is imperative that we stay aware of the goal: progress, not perfection. Serenity is the beacon that assists us in staying that course.

Change is going on all around us. Sometimes its radical and sometimes its superficial. We see it in nature with the change of seasons. Our bodies are a constant reminder of changefrom the length of our hair to the shapes of our torsos. We change our minds incessantly as thoughts and feelings come and go, making us different in some particular way.

However we meet change and whatever the purpose for change, serenity is our strongest ally. It is the rudder that directs us through the often chaotic times of change.

Often, that which we thought protected us changes. Prior to suicide bombers, we felt secure in the might of our weapons. While growing up, our parents presence may have fostered a sense of security. When we are healthy we feel more secure than when we are ill. Having money, being in a relationship, having a steady job, and being part of the accepted group all conspire to a sense of security.

During times of change, it is important to understand the distinction between security and serenity.

Serenity is an elevating, intimate, spiritual experience of connection to some unseen life-enhancing potential, power, or presence.

Serenity is developed through a conscious relationship with this Higher Power, Self, God, Universe, etc.

Serenity is independent of organized religion, philosophy, gender, age, status, past, future, or any physical condition.

The experience of serenity may be achieved in many ways: nature, music, reading, silence, poetry, stillness, dance, art, prayer, exercise, meditation. Regardless of the channel, the experience of serenity itself connects us to something greater. My life opened up dramatically the day I admitted that I needed help during times of change. Humility and serenity go hand in hand.

Serenity is the outcome of a fundamental shift in the focus of who we are, and where our authentic power lives.

Serenity is a function of inner values and character. Our talents may get us to the goal; however it is our character that sustains us.

Security, on the other hand, is most often a function of physical possessions, or the lack and rejection thereof, and is ego-based.

Many of us know first hand that succumbing to the capitalistic view of extreme consumerism can lead to a moral, ethical and spiritual impoverishment that breeds resentment, stealth, and blindness. There is a trap door we can easily fall through when we place to much value on our possessions as conduits for serenity. Our well-being becomes dependent on things rather than our true self.

Serenity is a shift from separation to connectedness. The effect of this transformation not only impacts the unseen levels of our consciousness, but also our everyday actions and reactions with each other.

Serenity creates a dynamic wherein we are all esteemed as equal to the wellbeing of humanity and the earth itself.

Serenity is a shift from experiencing our worth through our possessions, which is actually security, to who we are as human beings and the contribution we are regardless of what we possess.

The opposite of depression is not happiness, it is feeling vital.

Serenity shifts our focus from ruminating on what is lacking, which can cause depression, to a more expanded and congruent vision of possibilities that encourage vitality. Everyone is needed.

Serenity fosters gratitude and appreciation for what we have, and develops the experience of our individual and collective sufficiency.

When you are in the process of positive change, say yes to it. Declare that you are safe and remind yourself that it is only change.

Center yourself in serenity. Go beyond other peoples fears and limitations. Release all doubts, and free yourself from the past.

Claim your own authentic power. It is a mighty presence within you and will connect you to life itself.

Go ahead. Open new doors to life.