Anger can make us feel good and enlivened for a little while. When we are angry we are often feeling self-righteous, critical, judgemental and we have someone to blame for our own problems.

However, anger can easily turned to hatred and this can lead to us doing and saying things we really did not mean to. It can also drain our vital energy and leave us feeling drained and washed out. Long term anger is likely to have a detrimental effect on our liver, adrenal and nervous system - not to mention our relationships with those around us.

If we can be honest with ourselves, what we are really angry about is that something has happened that we did not want to happen, or we did not get our own way, or things did not turn out the way we wanted them to.

We may be angry because we planned a romantic dinner and went to a lot of effort and our partner doesn't show up.

Or we may be angry because we were sacked from our job without a good reason.

It could be that we caught someone out in a lie and we became angry.

Whatever the reason for our anger, we have to take responsibility for it, because we are the one who became that way. When we get stuck in anger, we can not see clearly the opportunities that are all around us all the time. We live in a big world full of choices and possibilities. When we become angry, we think that we know that way things should be and what is right and just.

To release our anger we need to be aware of a few truths

1. No one every said that life was fair - sometimes unfair things happen

2. The only certainties in life are death, taxes and change. We live in a dynamic and ever changing world, so things around you are going to change.

When you accept change is a part of life you stop clinging to having things the same all the time and you can easily move on when change occurs. If you loose you job, you see it as an opportunity to move on, meet new people and develop new skills. There are always ways to make money if you need it.

If your partner leaves you, you have the opportunity to learn about yourself, your likes and dislikes, you have the opportunity to grow and develop and look after yourself and maybe find a new partner to grow with and love. You can find ways to fall in love with life and living and then you will never feel lonely.

No matter what happens to you there is always opportunities around you. Sometimes horrible things happen, like the death of a child. If something like this happens we need time to grieve and then we must let go and move on and find ways to enjoy our lives again. It can seem tough and it is, but time will heal, just give yourself a chance to heal your pain and get professional help if you need to.

But for most things in life we simply need to take a deep breath, be prepared to move out of our comfort zones, and look around and embrace the new experiences coming our way. And then we do not have to be angry because something has not gone to plan. We will know that every supposed set back is an opportunity for us to learn and grow, to practice forgiveness and compassion and unconditional love. We can control the thoughts and actions of others but we can and should lead by example with kind words and actions of our own.

When we can accept and embrace change, instead of reacting with anger, life really can become and exciting and grand adventure.