Recipe for Relapse

1. Add 5 pounds of self-righteous anger to a pot of hot water.

2. Mix in equal amounts of self-pride, arrogance, and self-pity.

3. Sprinkle liberal amounts of unrealistic expectations for yourself and others.

4. Stir with the spoon of isolation until all the ingredients are mixed well.

5. Turn up the flame until you get a nice boiling resentment

6. Put the lid of denial on the boiling pot.

7. Wait for as long as it takes the lid to blow off the pot. Scrape the mixture off the walls and all the people in your life onto a colorful dish.

8. Garnish with guilt, shame, and remorse.

Let the mixture cool before eating. This is a dish best served cold.

This meal is best complemented by a desert of humble pie.

Enjoy!

Of course if this recipe is not to your liking you can go on a special diet.

This diet consists of 12 servings of gratitude a day. At least 8 servings of honesty are recommended. Humility must be consumed with every meal. Selfishness, self-pity, self-righteous anger, and resentments are strictly forbidden. If you are hungry between meals you may snack on unlimited quantities of meetings and service work. Fellowship will help ease the hunger pains associated with the first few months of this diet.