Ever since turning 35 years old Ive had a nagging feeling that my life had somehow changed. Where once there was wonder and amazement at the simple things in life like a cloudless summer day, or the unspoilt scenery of the countryside, these things stir little inside of me. It takes a lot more to excite me now than a few years ago. I talked to my friends who were the same age as me, and yes they felt the same way. What was it - whats changed?

We came to conclusion that it was hope we had lost - the hope of a better tomorrow. When we were younger the future was always there and wed always be young enough to change our lives and change our fortunes. The realisation that weve reached and passed the peak of our lives is a shocking one. Its too late for me now to get that degree and become a lawyer. Im never going to go to university and then on to become a world famous brain surgeon. Dont get me wrong, I love my life and I love my family, its just that I always thought that one day Id make the big time.

Ive played guitar and sung since I was nine years old. Learning more and more songs and even writing a few of my own. I believed that one day Id make it. Perhaps a talent scout would hear me play or Id get around to making that demo tape and sending it off. Sadly a hundred and one other things got in the way - girls, cars, motorbikes, work, marriage and kids. I wouldnt change any of that for the world, but now Im in my mid-thirties its finally occurred to me that my big breaks just not going to happen.

The answer to being happy once in your mid-thirties, Ive decided, is to fill your life with the things you always wanted or thought you might one day have, just on a more realistic scale. Thus begins my quest for musicians to jam with. I tried the band thing when I was a teen and wasnt impressed. There were too many people with large egos trying to railroad everyone else into doing it their way. Now Im looking for people like me. Ive readjusted my dreams. Now I just want to find some people to play with. No false hopes of becoming famous and gigging way into my seventies! Just regular guys and girls who also have lives they love, but want to play music with others.

For me playing the guitar and singing helps me feel grounded and at peace with the world (ok ..Maybe just a little more at peace) and I know others feel the same way about their hobbies. Its important not to lose sight of the fact that just because were not young doesnt mean life is over. As long as Im still physically capable I will still be riding my motorbike and playing my guitar. The dream of strapping the guitar to my back and riding my motorbike around the world might be gone now but that doesnt diminish the pleasure both give me.

So who cares if my band is never going to get a song in the charts (or even play on stage at Butlins!)? Does it really matter if Im never going to be champion motorcycle racer? There are enough people in my life who love me and enjoy listening to me playing guitar and singing to make me feel perfectly happy with today and tomorrow. My wonder at the world we live in has finally returned.

Please visit my web site at www.iwantedtobeapopstar.co.uk