There are some events in life that we just never forget, although sometimes we wish we could. Those are the memorable events that become forever forged in our psyche, only to come back from the recesses of our mind reminding us that we are human and we are made up of a lifetime of experiences.

As a counselor in a junior high school, dealing with adolescents and first love was always an experience for me. I will never forget the day that one of my young female students knocked at my door, tears welling up in her eyes, lips quivering, fighting back her tears. After a moment of composure she told me that her boyfriend finally kissed her and it was awful. "He drooled on me", she said with utter disgust. "Ugh", she moaned. I had a moment of compassion for the poor guy thinking that he probably didn't mean to drool at this most inopportune moment, but my attention went back to this young lady, hopes dashed, fantasy ruined. Would she ever kiss anyone else again?

It makes me wonder about the fantasies that we all have and sometimes share. We build up the fantasy of a perfect stranger to a crescendo that sometimes plummets into an abyss of disappointment. In other words, the build up leads to the let down.

So how do we sustain the fantasy? How can we be assured that the perfect stranger, who we met online or on a blind date or through a friend, is going to be, at least, passable when it comes to the first kiss. Will it be magic? Will it set off the fireworks that we all anxiously wait for? Will they drool?

I remember my first kiss. I was at a Boy Scout camp. I spent the summer there with my family. The boys were across the lake. Except one night they were allowed to come to our side. It happened. Just like that on a dark road, flashlights in hand, one of the scouts kissed me. My head was spinning. I was young, naive, and confused. When I got back to the cabin I stared at my lips in the mirror to make sure that there were no tell-tale signs. My mother would kill me, I thought. Forty-five years later, I remember that moment as if it were frozen in time.

The build up is a big part of growing up and no matter what age you are it remains an important beginning to a relationship. The excitement, the tension, and the fantasy all become the background music for the enchanted journey. The first kiss can seal the deal or it can be a sign to say goodnight and quickly move on.

The first kiss is one of the many lifetime experiences that will stay with you and come back to remind you that chemistry does count. Remember yours?

JJR NY