It can be really hard to talk about money. Here are some more issues that you should discuss before you are married: 5. A spending limit. Given the free money, you should still have a consultation limit. You can spend up to this amount without calling the other person. For some couples in tight situations, this could be twenty dollars. Heck, a lot of tight budgets require buying only what is on a list. Everything else, you have to wait 24 hours and get spousal approval for. You will find that most things are forgotten within that time period. Other couples set $1,000 as a limit. Decide on the amount that is reasonable to both of you. We instituted a limit after my husband suggested I go by a furniture store that was going out of business. Hello, he was telling me to go shopping. He was a little upset when I came home with a $700 love seat. We call it the love seat he didn't want, though it is his favorite piece of furniture. It was just more than he ever thought I would spend without calling him first. After it happened with a $800 new dryer, we set a $600 limit with each other. 6. Facing the fears. You have to talk about issues that are going to pop up sometime during your married lives. Talk about how you feel about not having any money. Talk about how you spend. What do you feel guilty about? How do you feel about debt? How much is too much? Talk over all of the issues that make you uncomfortable. I'm terrified of not having any money. My husband knows this, and because he does, he's able to soothe me when I feel as if we have spent too much. He knows I love to pay off debt and save, so he looks for ways to help. I know that he feels like he doesn't get anything for all the hours of work he does. So I let him splurge on things he really wants. Because we know how each other thinks, we are able to support each other's money needs. 7. It's all about the debt. This is something you should never hide from your spouse. If you aren't honest about it, your marriage is going to go down the tubes. Starting out with secrets will only make it worse. You need to know what your total and shared debt load is going to be. Decide how you will pay it and manage it. Make a plan to eliminate it. Discuss when and under what circumstances you will take on any future debt, for example, a new car or first home. 8. Budgeting is a blessing. It is hard to be in good financial marriage without a budget. But you both must work within the budget. This might mean that you have to meet over your finances as often as once a week. Don't just talk about it -- do it. It really is essential. I promise that a budget will free up money for you, not limit your spending. Just give it time. 9. Hold financial meetings. You have to meet to discuss your financial situation. How often you do this is up to you. My husband and I do this at least once a week. We both receive weekly paychecks, so we discuss what goes in and out on a weekly basis. Once every other months or so we discuss our overall debt and investment situation. This keeps us both planning together for our finances. When we don't do this, one of us usually spends too much. 10. Set your financial goals. Some of us only want to go on vacation next year. Others are looking at retirement savings. Create your short-term goals and long-term goals. Some short-term may be working to get out of debt and saving for a new car. Long-term goals include buying a home and investing for retirement. Work towards the goals together. They are your destination. Your budget is your roadmap. And you are each other's support. If you can make it through this list, you are on the right track. Remember, marriage requires open and honest communication. Solve the problems now. Don't wait for divorce to straighten out your finances. |